“Climb the rigging to the curtain rail”

“Secure the jib to the TV”

“Yarr, there is a squall coming”…

…and the squall has really been catching the mainsail in our living room. That’s right, our front room now resembles the “sailing” Monti Python building in The Meaning of Life, although I wish I could say, like them, we were sailing our building on the high seas of international finance.

Okay I’m exaggerating like I usually do…our house isn’t this big. It has though, developed an almost galleon ship expression on the inside. The polythene sheets nailed up to our walls have been under immense strain with the strong winds we have been experiencing of late.

The wooden “planks” strewn here and there just add to the nautical illusion, along with my new parrot from Pet Smart and the old telescope that I dug out out of my shed, that is now positioned in arms reach of my Lazy-boy. We also have these two old swaying chain lamps that fit in perfectly to the whole galleon scene, complete with cobwebs! Arrrrr, the Back Pearl it be.

Our front “room” even sounds like a ship at this point, groaning and flapping around. When the wind catches the “main-wall,” there is an audible sighing sound as the polythene bellows out then sucks back against the wall. When this happens I boom out “Tack” and lunge for my telescope. It is almost as if the walls are, are…breathing…

Aaahhhhhhh!

“HARD-A-PORT”!

Here is our home-ship catching the prevailing Arctic wind.

My wife took this picture late the other night, right after I had just finished watching the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy. Oh yes, watching a movie is now a character building experience, but a trilogy is potentially life threatening.

If you are not a regular reader to the East Side Patch, this damage was caused by a Chevy Tahoe, a vehicle that decided it should take an alternative route in preference to the boring monotony of the straight road that runs in front of our house.

It slammed in a possessed “Christine” fashion, straight into the front corner of our house:

https://www.eastsidepatch.com/2009/09/dude-wheres-my-car/

Here is the East Side Patch galleon ship as seen from the outside. I am thinking of getting a figurehead erected on the impact corner where the Tahoe hit, to commemorate the time that our house had internal “sails”. I am thinking of something on the lines of this…

What?!!

Do you think it would be a little “too much” if I secured and angled this eight foot high figurehead from the side of our house, hoisting her into position via an elaborate series of winches and pulleys? Visualize it, this corner of the house does look like the prow of a galleon ship after all, it would look great. Mmm, on second thoughts, the sight of this maidenhead may cause yet another accident.

“Resilient are these little Hobbits.“

Naturally there are always lots of chores to be done on a ship, chores like swabbing the decks?  This was actually more like a Jack Ass stunt, he went careering through this water congregation point at high speed, then lost control and performed what can only be described as a double axel into an arabesque maneuver. Hence why he is out of frame…I just wish my camera had been on movie mode.

(photo courtesy of Mike Field)

The biting breeze in our sails carried our “house-boat” to a small island, we anchored and rode to shore in a small rowing boat, taking the opportunity to stretch our legs and observe some of the native wild flora.

This Fatsia japonica bloom is the largest one I think I have ever had. On our next warm day these flowers will be full of flies and many other insects. You can see the younger green blooms start off like unripe blackberries before exploding into these fireworks, complete with all the fine “sizzly” bits, that stand out in the deep shade.

“Hahah! You call these fireworks ESP”!

The oddest of spiky-salmon pink blooms, and one of the final flowers to develop late into the year. They sort of look like winter crystals.

Another end of year task, and one of my least favorite activities…

“The boring leaf scooping has officially begun”!

Lucky for me this year I have a helper to alleviate the mind-numbing monotony of this incredibly irritating and seemingly endless task.  She actually likes to do it!  Who am I to argue?  Between the overhead Post oak and the embedded Bog Cyprus, a lot of scooping happens for the next month or so in the Patch. Are those some more Mexican limes she is protecting in her pocket?

Staying with citrus…these Meyer Lemons are trying their hardest to ripen before the winter fronts kick-in hard, they are almost there,  j j just a few more days, I have moved this container up onto the back-deck of the ship.  These will come in really useful when our house-boat takes to the high-seas once again…they will be really good for curbing scurvy on the voyage home, and, well, I am a “limey” after all.

Copper Canyon Daisy

Copper Canyon Daisy

We awoke this morning to a crisp and extremely cold day. Last night was clear and a hard freeze had reached into the island with icy fingers, touching plants here, nipping others there. Walking around it was clear, we had gone from a summer-end garden to a winter garden overnight…the casualties where numerous, I knew they would be. I was just hoping that the freeze had finally killed all my “Mother of Millions” plants, before they just engulf my entire garden. I will not be growing this one again, waaaay too scary.

Well, not quite, but lets just say it has looked an awfully lot better.

My cannas, my beautiful cannas.  All have collapsed into a mass of slightly poached “soft” leaves.

As have the Hoja Santa, reduced to a bunch of old hanging handkerchiefs.

Though the leaves make great pixie-hats.

The amaranth’s foliage has also been nipped, accentuating the Santa seedpod colors, very festive for Christmas.

These seed heads will get to about a foot or so in length.

Even the sea froze.

Even more disturbing were these blood droplets, they were everywhere and in different parts of the island. Was this the work of the Naboo?

Or was my purple heart bleeding?

These mounds of seaweed are oozing purple blood. I decided not to cut it all the way back, allowing what is left of the plant some protection from the slushy top covering, it is looking like we are in for another freeze tonight. Perhaps this will spell the end of the…

Finally! We have all been nightly blood donors for the last few months.

Shadows from the ship’s Giant Timber Bamboo Rigging.

Sea-salted-succulents make for a delicious on-board snack.

We waited for the sea to unfreeze, then set on our long voyage back to our “pier” (ahem) and beam foundation, back to the Patch.  It was good to finally be on our way, with the wind in our walls.

 

Inspirational Photo of the Week

Yes…plonk some of these giant baggies on your Hell-Strip and you will be the talk of your neighborhood. Perhaps not the best-liked, but the talk none-the-less. One or two of these bad-boys should ensure that no weeds will grow in your strip ever again, with the added advantage of gardening at waist height.

Just thinking out of the raised bed!

Talking of raised beds…imagine sleeping in here:

Metropolitan Home

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“Down the Rabbit Hole”

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