ESPatch

"Gardening in a Furnace"


This is how I want to feel right now . . .ahhhhhh



and this is how it actually feels outside right now . . .arrrrrrgh!



Imagine wearing all your jerseys and a small convection oven
on your head. Slowly dial up the heat whilst lying on a bed of
smouldering coals for 4 Months…then keep turning up the
heating…
that is what Summer is like in Texas.
Only the hardy survive.


Needless to say, outside of watering, almost all outdoor activities in my yard have, for the time being, significantly diminished (the Mars effect). I did catch this guy cooling down under some containered lavender. He caught my attention as I dumped a rather large bucket of water on his head, he must have really liked it because I got the camera within millimeters of his face as he hung onto the edge of the container!
Is he smiling?



This picture reminds me of that incredibly irritating StarWars character Jar Jar Binks:


or maybe …

The Gulf Coast Toad is frequently seen in yards around the Austin area. Although they need some moisture, they are not as reliant on permanent water as frogs and do well in gardens, where they eat numerous insects.


Oh no, It is the Eye of Sauron! Get the eye drops imediately Sam Gamgee!


“But Mr Frodo, his eyeball is so huge and Gollum has drank the eyedrops – lets just return to the Shire for some Brandywine”.



“Can we Mr Frodo”?

This was the closest I have ever got the lens into any toad’s face – If you
look really closely you can see my hand and camera reflected in the pupil!



These Prickly Pear cacti don’t even reach for sunscreen in 100 degree weather. I have been growing this bed for 3 years, not allowing off-shoots to develop, swells the individual pads. “Why do this”?, you may ask, well, to make the individual pads large enough to carve faces into them. The cacti will “heal” around the cuts, without any harm to the plant – at least that is the theory. You can see all the acne scars where I have cut or snapped the off-shoots over the years. I am looking forward to “Carving Day” (more obligatory Lecter noises).

Prickly pear cactus represent about a dozen species of the Opuntia genus (Family Cactaceae) in the North American deserts. All have flat, fleshy pads that look like large leaves. The pads are actually modified branches or stems that serve several functions — water storage, photosynthesis and flower production.



Medic! This Banana plant on the other hand forgot to apply the SPF 50 sunscreen.


The cool silver foliage of the Pride of Barbados gives a frosty impression even when it feels like your ears are melting. I use a lot of silvers in my landscape to at least help “visually” cool down the Texas Summer.



Artemisia – ‘Powis Castle’ is one of my favorites for cooling down a scene – I lost most of the plants on the left picture due to last years unusually wet conditions. Plants tend to open up in summer and are susceptible to root rot in moist soils, particularly poorly drained ones. The whole wormwood family is remarkable for the extreme bitterness of all parts of the plant: ‘as bitter as Wormwood’ is a very Ancient proverb.
The genus is named Artemisia from Artemis, the Greek name for Diana. Now you can sleep tonight.


A quick update on my dying Agave – it has now developed hundreds of “pups”
on the “beanstalk”. My plan tomorrow is to get a hundred tiny pots, fill them
with sharp cactus potting soil, and plant the pups as they fall from the beanstalk
to the ground. I found one today already self-rooting on the ground, amazing.



The host Agave in decay, the ants are already infesting this rotting carcass.


The life on an intergalactic cruise ship was simply too much for him.
He decided to quit his entertainment career for the simple country life.
(I bring him inside every night for some well earned AC and a hot meal).

Stay Tuned for:

“Web Worms are Insulating my House”


All material © 2009 for eastsidepatch. Unauthorized
intergalactic reproduction strictly prohibited, and
punishable by  late  (and extremely unpleasant)
14th century planet Earth techniques.



This one’s cloaking device was damaged when it crash landed in a local playground – the “wessle” (as commander Pavel Andreievich Chekov annoyingly immortalised) was about 15ft long. The alien crew communicated via a series of rather annoying high pitched rattles and shrills. I tried to communicate back using similar pitches – but it seems I offended them with my limited grasp of their highly sophisticated language. They turned the nose of their craft to the heavens and immediately hit the “oh please, lets just go button”.



Quote: “These “Humans” are an intriguing race – they are made out of “meat” – they communicate by flapping their “meat” (The Embassidor of the 5th Dynasty of Cicada’s).
“Oh, and a message to the entire fleet: we must exterminate the male known as “Chekov” before he has chance to coin another equally irritating Russian phrase”


http://youtube.com/watch?v=-Dk9z6Ul4X4

If you made it all the way through that link, now you are in the mood!



This type of emergence is reminiscent of an H.R. Geiger movie. I was very happy to capture this private moment on reel, illusive creatures that they are. It is amazing that they actually “fit” into their previous form.



This spider species Argiope aurantia is commonly known as the Black and Yellow Garden Spider or Writing Spider. This female of the species is striking in appearance with distinct yellow and black markings, including banding on the legs. Despite the vivid color, this spider is well camouflaged, blending in easily with partially sunlit areas on the planet Earth.These spiders are not dangerous to people. Yellow garden spiders breed once a year. The males roam in search of a female (nothing new there – garden habitats, bars, night-clubs etc.), building a small web near or actually in the females web, then court the females by plucking strands on her web. Often, when the male approaches the female, he has a safety drop line (think,”Mr and Mrs Smith”) in case she attacks him. After mating, the male dies, and is sometimes then eaten by the female.


No I will Eat Her!       A spider massage is so relaxing, up and to the right a little, yes right there!

Sadly I see less and less of these beneficial spiders in my yard, perhaps as a result of East Austin’s development or perhaps they have found a better planet to inhabit.
I have two other aliens I need your help on . . . this one:


What is this furry guy?
and this one I posted when I first started this blog:


Can you see this master of stealth – really can you? – this was on my Post Oak. It reminds me of :



This guy ! – to much high fructose corn syrup? this is what will happen to you!


I was amazed to see this little guy entertaining on an intergalactic cruise we embarked on some months back, – he has come a long way since since his interior compost pile existence. . . . from rags to interplanetary riches!



His sister also departing to seek her destiny.


This ship has a map inscribed on it’s exterior –  amazing!


Live long and prosper my friends.


Stay Tuned for:

“Gardening in a Furnace”


All material © 2009 for eastsidepatch. Unauthorized
intergalactic reproduction strictly prohibited, and
punishable by  late  (and extremely unpleasant)
14th century planet Earth techniques.

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