ESPatch

Weebles and Weevils

Icouldn’t resist…if only the hair was better!

It is amazing how advertising have turned the Weebles’ inherently disturbing expressions into Weeble-cuteness over the years, “Weebles Wobble, but they don’t fall down”.

Don’t they indeed?

“I am your number one fan”…

 

Lets face it, Weebles were never cute…Grandma Weeble looks like she would be equally as comfortable wielding a sledgehammer instead of her knitting needles?

I recently succumbed to some cute deception myself, not from a Weeble, not from a Sméagol, but from a Weevil.

“Nasty insulting Espatches”

Unlike Weebles, weevils do fall down. They usually fall on their backs with their legs, and antennae tucked-in-tight to play dead in response to any potential threat, just like a possum. The weird snout antennae fold neatly into a secret groove chiseled into the side of its curved snout.

weevils in the garden

Very cute…or is he?

I say it is a ‘he’, as female weevil’s snouts can be longer than their body which is never true for males.

“How dare you ESPatch!!!”

I am only too familiar with the black, snout-nosed, agave weevil.

(The Evil Weevil)

This monster has been the demise of many an East-Side-Patch agave in the past:

weevils in the garden

https://www.eastsidepatch.com/2011/03/the-evil-weevil/

But this new little chap was different, less Darth Vadery,

and more ‘Clangery’.

weevils in the garden

This spared his life.

I knew he was most likely a bad guy but I had to look him up before giving him a good old-fashioned sandal whacking.

(Which I didn’t, it had moved on).

weevils in the garden

This is the genus Curculio, a nut and acorn weevil.

Females use their extra long snouts to bore into the nuts and acorns, before depositing an egg. The grublike larva hatches and eats the interior of the acorn, then it pupates, chewing its way out of the nut or fruit as an adult beetle…ingenious!

Wait, how does it get the egg into the bored hole?

That has got to be a bit tricky?

The interior of a nut sounds like a cozy place to grow bigger. A tiny wood burning stove at one end, and a firefly in a jar in the corner to illuminate yet another monotonous plate of delicious, nutritious ‘nut’…

Okay that would get old pretty fast.

Sounds like ‘van-life’.

Moving ‘sharply’ along:

 

This grapefruit tree has been one long pruning, and flesh puncturing saga.

It has 1 in” long thorns everywhere, and I mean everywhere!  If this one had gotten much larger, I would’ve had to resort to the ‘funeral-pyre-and-tarp’ process that I used on my front Vitex some time back…not something I recommend.

https://www.eastsidepatch.com/2017/01/the-funeral-pyre/

Incidentally, when you do prune a grapefruit tree, it will grow exponentially fast where the cuts take place. This one invariably had a fresh and unwelcomed mohawk coming out the top of it all the time.

I tried cutting the limbs, but even my hook-saw barely made a dent…what are these things made of?

If you think your agaves are a tad on the sharp side, or you occasionally swear at your “soft” leafed yucca or barrel cactus for giving you the occasional puncture wound, be thankful you did not plant a grapefruit tree.

There is a reason why these trees are occasionally given away free at large box stores!

On a softer note…

Ruby Grass,  ‘pink crystals’

Melinis nerviglumis

 

One of my absolute favorite small grasses for parched exposed areas.

It may be small, it may look delicate, but this grass is as tough as nails.

It is also very tough to photograph the iridescent sheen on the newer seed heads, as they move on the slightest breeze.

Mine are all growing directly in decomposed granite mixed with some amendment soil. They self-seed readily, but are very easy to pull out and control where they are not desired.

For now, I am letting mine spread all over the place between my Rostrata, knockout roses,

and Gulf Muhly in my front garden.

Muhlenbergia Capillaris

 

Gulf Muhly is putting out some great burgundy fall color right now.

They can get quite large, stunning in the light.

I have been propagating these Agave Lophantha Quadicolor for some years now. I have been replanting the pups, of which there are many, and repositioning them in front of what has to be one of the ugliest sotols in horticultural history. (If not the entire history of the natural world).

Look at it lurking in the background, it also moves around in the night!

Aw, COME ON!

Why do I even still have this?

I wince every time I walk past it. I mean, when was it set on fire?  Who set it on fire?

What are those amber lumps…it’s eyes?  It looks like Urko from Planet of the Apes, that is, if Urko had replaced his already ridiculous hat with a sotol for a more dramatic cinematic effect.

“Its going to be a bumpy electoral ride”

Also, there is only one small tap root underneath this mess, hence ‘everything but the kitchen sink’ is wedged tightly under it to keep it semi-upright…it still moves and rolls around all the time.

Glad someone finds it funny.
Dirty rat.

Stay Tuned For:

“Austin Powers”

 

All material © 2020 for East Side Patch. Unauthorized
intergalactic reproduction strictly prohibited, and
punishable by late (and extremely unpleasant)
14th century planet Earth techniques.

 

 

Or is it a wolf in spiders clothing…or a sheep?

My arachnophobic daughter spotted this Wolf Spider roaming around the dark misty-moors at the very back of the Patch.

I told her not to stray too far from the decomposed granite path when the moon was full!

Wolf Spiders

It is called a Wolf Spider because they hunt and run down their prey in preference to constructing a web and passively waiting…hence the long legs. They also have three rows of eyes – the top row of two are medium sized, the middle row consists of two large eyes, and below are a row of four smaller ones (not visible in this picture – he kept turning around). These provide the spider with exceptionally good eyesight for spotting and catching its prey.

More about the wolf spider and some other monsters here: https://www.eastsidepatch.com/2011/11/little-monsters/

Apparently at night, armed with a flashlight and good eyesight, you can witness hundreds of these reflective wolves’ eyes scouring a backyard for suitable prey.

I suggested we should go out and witness this spectacle to my daughter who just looked back at me…

over a very large pile of stamps.

A pound of them to be precise, and that equates to a lot of Queen heads! (also known as definitives)

As Covid has been keeping us largely housebound for the best part of this year, our ‘very basic’ knowledge of Philately has increased dramatically, as have our compulsive ordering of stamps from eBay sellers.

Let me tell you, a pound of stamps keeps you busy for a very long time.

I even roped my sister into sending over my childhood stamp collection from Scotland.

Thanks so much sis!

The virus has officially sent us off the nerd deep end. We now have so many stamps our collection had to be upgraded into one of the largest binders ever constructed, a marvel of modern engineering.

Talking of engineering this channel has captivated me:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-w7gzIQAHf0

It is a struggle to heave ‘The Book’ (as we now collectively call it) from the side table, up onto our large dining room table. It lets out an audible groan whenever it has to support it.

Naturally I gravitate toward the bug stamps:

These textured Yugoslavian stamps are literally miniature works of art:

This next stamp, featuring a ‘Kora’, was very interesting to me. Years ago, I had dragged one of these cumbersome instruments on a plane back from The Gambia.

When played well, it sounds like a harp.

Moving along…

I recently ran a few yards of granite where my future deck is going to be constructed.

The cats are always there to flop around on it, proceeding to use it as the worlds largest litter box!

Like she cares.

The deck will be on the right,

right below his escape window?

Hmm.

I planted a bunch of fennel early this year (regular & bronze), and they have put on a great show. Hosting everything from swallowtail caterpillars, wasps, flies, aphids, and loads of ladybug larvae. You name it, it was on them. I would have had a crawl on them myself, if the stalks could have held my weight.

You cannot beat this plant for entertainment value, it even finished with a fine firework display.

I am planting twice as many next year.

“In nomine patris, et filii, et spiritus agave sancti”

Century plants really do make a big, old, crusty, stinky messes when they finally do push up the daisies, but wow do they go out in style!

A massive beanstalk (up to 25ft) packed with seeds – a final push, one last hurrah.

An agave reproduces once right before it dies. This process of reproducing once , flowering, setting seeds , and then dying is called: Monocarpy.

This beanstalk looks like it was pushed over onto the curb for safety reasons. In the wild it would’ve come crashing down, dispersing seeds around the area, to then produce more agave plants.

New East Side Patch color:

New East Side Patch Porch (Thanks Juju)!!!

All that is left to do are the pickets around the porch, the oversized flagstone to the steps, and  the sidewalk. Oklahoma flag to match the browns perhaps?

The soccer ball fits into the color scheme!

I will leave you with this rather odd face in a cloud I caught the other night,

and a design I generated for a new-build in Tarrytown. The client wanted a classical modern aesthetic, very clean.

The front entryway and illuminated steel planters offer some enclosure from the street. House color changed to off-white, I added crushed limestone pathways, and privacy side planting.

Front floating deck platform / steel planters. New gates added on both sides.

Cut limestone lueders and boulders / dark mulched beds reflect contemporary architecture. New driveway, small courtyard.

Clean lines, sweet olive for fragrance. Turf in the sun, beds in the shade.

(Cabana not finished at this point) – Extended outside deck on Cabana, softening muhly and seating between the willows.

Stay Tuned For:

“Oleander Bloom”

 

“Aw come on”!

All material © 2020 for East Side Patch. Unauthorized
intergalactic reproduction strictly prohibited, and
punishable by late (and extremely unpleasant)
14th century planet Earth techniques.

 

 

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