ESPatch

“Jings, Crivvens, Help ma Boab!”

ESPatch Dec 14, 2012 5 comments

Bulk “Jings, Crivvens, Help ma Boab indeed!”

The front of the Patch is quite an eyesore at the moment as we approach our bulk pick up date.

I have a suspicion that the distinguished “Sir Digby Chicken Caesar” and his counterpart “Ginger” have taken up residence in the inner-pallets below the tarp.

A cold snap finally arrived in Central Texas this week, taking care of most of the outdoor mosquitoes.

“Spike”

The ones current dwelling in our house are another matter. My daughter and I have become so close to these insects that we have given them names, we are constantly amazed just how punctually our daily blood-letting get-togethers are performed.

Mosquitoes mid-December, that is ridiculous.

It got so cold the other night that “Kreature”, our grumbling house elf wasted no time bedding himself down into his stinky robes.

One plant that will visually warm you up on a brisk Texas day:

Crimson passion vine,

Passiflora coccinea

This vine dies back to the ground after a hard frost, but it has returned reliably for the past six years in the Spring.

Celosia always looks festive at this time of year.

The birds have been going crazy eating the seeds from these plants. I thought I had better seed a few to ensure next year’s harvest.

I paid my hired hands the ever increasing fee and set them to work extracting the seeds from the husks…“you can stop when your fingers turn purple.”

Her expression says it all.

Muhlenbergia lindheimeri fire cracker.

I would have decorated this Arizona ‘blue ice’ cypress,

but I do not own a step ladder large enough. That is my story and I am sticking with it, besides I just know this Darwin award winning activity would have ended with me taking an impromptu icy dip in that stock tank.

I couldn’t stand it any longer…yes it was out with the brushes and rakes this week to execute my least favorite of garden chores,

…must not think,

…must not think,

must not think about…

I have had an irrational phobia about assassin bugs lurking in the leaves ready to assassinate one of my fingers ever since I researched them. I won’t even go into Chronic Chagas’ Disease:

http://theassassinbug.com/2009/12/26/a-chagas-disease-primer-part-1/

Brrr.

A quick glance down at the current condition of my work gloves did nothing to fuel confidence.

Come on Santa!

The leaf cleanup uncovered piles of pecan nuts that were immediately stamped on and eaten or chewed up in Kreature’s case.

Other observations this week:

Keep still.

Seeding mist flowers looking misty,

crispy sea oats and

an up-to-no-good gate keeper. The plumosa fern that I planted earlier this year has almost reached the top of the gate.

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Stay Tuned for:

“Eggs & Soldiers”

All material © 2012 for eastsidepatch. Unauthorized
intergalactic reproduction strictly prohibited, and
punishable by late (and extremely unpleasant)
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“Biddy from Sligo”

ESPatch Dec 1, 2012 6 comments

I thought this week I would start off with something a bit different, like a wee tune on my practice chanter just to put your nerves on edge. Someone told me recently that the chanter (a learning and practicing instrument for the highland bagpipes) sounded like an old Atari video game!

A keen observation.

“Star Raiders”…one of my favorites…oh yes, it had…radar.

The tune is a 6/8 jig by P/M G.S. McLennan called the “Biddy from Sligo” and I believe it was adapted from an old Irish fiddle tune. Sligo is located in the northwest of Ireland, about forty miles from the border with Northern Ireland.

And if you are unsure what a “biddy” is, it is a woman, usually a garrulous old one, a great word – garrulous.

Note to self: You really must work on developing a circular breathing technique.

Cold fronts have brought with them some amazing sunsets this past week.

Calm down Alex, they are just street lights!

And the ominous green glow I am sure is not a competitor Mr White…

….though they were on campus…everybody, calm down.

No sooner had Thanksgiving day arrived, the “can we get a Christmas tree now Pa, can we?” (repeat x14.5 more times) started. The .5 interruption was for a “oh for heavens sake…YES, lets go and get a Christmas tree!”

Okay there was no “Pa” involved in the conversation, but it seemed like there should have been.

Returning with the tree, I had the usual scrummage to get it into the house and supported in its incredibly annoying (too big for the tree) base. Clawing and orbiting away underneath it for some time, turning annoyingly short screws into the trunk and finally giving an annoyingly dense lower canopy water, I emerged triumphant…covered in sap and needles, sarcastically humming in a twisted key: “tis the season to be jolly”.

I trudged off in 80 degree weather to get the decorations from my shed.

They wasted no time getting reacquainted with some shiny old friends.

Concentrate.

Kumo is also getting into the spirit of the season,

“Halleluiah!”

I hear him every day practicing his choir solo.

Moving ridiculously along:

“Throw another…

…on the barbie mate.”

And what a great display the langoustines have put on this year.

A shrimp-plant cocktail.

Justicia brandegeana

A great plant for vibrant shade color, drought tolerant, tough and slightly eccentric, shrimp plant is supposedly one of the best hummingbird plants for shady areas, although I have yet to see one on mine.

I really enjoyed this stock tank for a while,

but recently a chunk of the horsetail reed died, the Persian ivy looked like a moth-eaten old rug and well the whole scene had started to generally grate on my nerves.

Digging out a stock tank employs the same strange physics as Doctor Who’s Tardis, it is amazing how much earth comes out of a small tank. I also resurrected a whole bunch of old flagstone and bricks and rocks that I had forgotten about that I had “conveniently” swept under the carpet / tank some time ago. Argh.

I will spare you a description of all the unmentionables that scattered around my ankles as I pushed over the now-emptied stock tank, but I will say this…Brrr.

I believe my impromptu highland dance performance would have won a trophy if under adjudication.

Here is the area all cleared out awaiting a fresh top-dressing of decomposed granite and possibly a future archery target.

“Shhh!”

Finally:

How about this for a celosia seed head!

Thanks for a great day at the Ranch J&W, we all had a blast.