ESPatch

“Tiddalik”

ESPatch Dec 18, 2011 8 comments

Oh come on…it could have been another episode of the “Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner.”

Unfortunately this gulf coast Tiddalik that Kumo kindly decided to deposit in our saltillo hallway was not quite so lucky on the moisture front…

Bad Kumo!

I have been wondering why our postman has not been delivering our christmas cards of late!

Bad Kumo!

It has been a couple of crazy busy weeks in the Patch. Between the highly polarized activities of moving large quantities of granite,Tejas black gravel and Christmas shopping, the strains of the festive period are beginning to show in us all.

Stockings have been hung,

the tree decorated, and now for the build-up to the big-day. This prolonged finger-drumming wait is taking its toll psychologically on the halflings:

“Is it Christmas tomorrow”?

No…

“Can we open our presents now”?

No…

“Is it Christmas tomorrow”?

No…

“Can we ope… Arrghh!

I decided it was time to pick satsumas before I completely lost my mind.

We only had two satsumas this year, they were huge and tasted thoroughly disgusting, their texture resembling potatoes more then fruit.

If my satsumas were potatoes then my pond filter cleaning was going to provide the gravy:

No wonder water was struggling to circulate through all of this, but I am not complaining, oh no, quite the opposite.

Whenever I clean this filter I harvest the finest sludge available to humanity.

http://www.imdb.com/video/screenplay/vi2572458265/

I spread the gravy around the base of some lucky plants and trees with a maniacal grin on my face, to rot and wash down into the soil over the winter months. This has to be the best compost –

fish excrement, mineral deposits, a pinch of salt and pepper and numerous other unmentionables all go into the complexity of this nutrient-rich soup.

Moving on:

Shock-pink celosia is putting on a gaudy winter display, I just hope enough of them will set seed to enable a harvest for next year.

Bees flood to this plant for a welcome mid-winter meal.

In stark contrast to the colorful celosia,

my hoja santa now bare a distinct resemblance to the Nazgû after the temperatures recently ducked to freezing, stripping the plants of their foliage.

Agave parryi would surely swing the balance of power in Middle Earth.

Another plant that is still putting on a good show is:

Podranea ricasoliana

This desert trumpet vine is attempting to completely engulf my neighbors wrought iron fence. Every time it makes contact with the ground, it takes root and forms another plant. Apart from the occasional bucket of water in the middle of August, this plant breezes through our tough and unpredictable central Texas weather.

Finally…

“Don’t tread on an ant he’s done nothing to you
There might come a day when he’s treading on you
Don’t tread on an ant you’ll end up black and blue
You cut off his head, legs come looking for you.”

It appears like I am in big trouble then…I cut down this dead limb on a mountain laurel at a clients house the other day and from the hole in the center rushed out hundreds of huge ants. I had to wait a few minutes to allow the first few waves of workers to dissipate before venturing into the carnage with my camera.

Limbs, heads and torsos were strewn everywhere.

“Ach ESP, these things happun on the battlefield ye-ken…dunnai ye fret mun”.

These ants are

Camponotus sp.

workers feature greatly enlarged mandibular glands that run the entire length of the ant’s body. some species of Camponotus can release the contents of these glands suicidally, rupturing the ant’s body and spraying toxic substance from the head, which gives these species the common name “exploding ants.” The glue from the glands bursts out and immobilizes all nearby victims. I am so happy this did not happen to me, I could have been stuck out there for weeks.

Inspirational image of the week:

This week’s Inspirational image of the week comes from BERTHOLD haas who forges creative magic into rather large chunks of stone…

…In this case a carved limestone boulder fountain.

Stay Tuned for:

“Yule-Tidy all that up…Right?”

All material © 2011 for eastsidepatch. Unauthorized
intergalactic reproduction strictly prohibited, and
punishable by late (and extremely unpleasant)
14th century planet Earth techniques.

Here is some new footage from over the summer and the latest score from the Neheughkian Quartet:

Merry Christmas from us all in the Patch!

“The Incredible Bulk”

ESPatch Nov 27, 2011 15 comments

Oh yes, I think I can officially say that I am ready for our bulk pick up to happen, as I am sure my neighbors are who have had to unfortunately look down on this rather hillbilly scene for the last few weeks.

“Dang, squirrel! And darn.”

I am convinced that these pallets are procreating, they have to be. There are definitely more stacked up with every passing day.

There are also more of these bog cypress leaves in my pond every day along with those strange unidentified “brains” I keep reporting and wittering on about. Today we all banded together to get to the bottom of the mysterious brains…today the experiment started:

I went into my shed and grabbed my white lab coat and notepad while my halflings got busy picking some of the larger specimen brains out of the pond.

There were some beauties…

…”Ack ack ack ack-ack”!

We placed the brains with their brain-stems facing down in a pot (it seemed logical), filled it with soil and returned the pot to the pond.

I will report next year, or as soon as something emerges from the damp soil.

All this talk of brains quickly turned to zombies,

Though to me he looked a lot more…

“Village of the Damned” than zombie.

Brrr…Moving On:

These suspended milkweed seeds were launching themselves in all directions the other day with our recent freshening breezes.

I snagged some and planted them in the ground in an attempt to increase their chances of germination.(snort)

Other notable events in the Patch this week…

Flowering loquats are covered in honey bees and my satsumas are the size of grapefruits.

This little tree only produced two satsumas this year as it focused all of its energy on staying alive during this summer’s drought.

Here is the same tree two years ago with over a 100 satsumas on it (and a lot more rain).

Yucca filamentosa looks like the morning after a serious party, especially when backlit from a wintery sun. The leaf margins carry numerous white curled filaments which catch the light, hence filamentosa.

Also should you find yourself out in the wild and cold, the flowering stalk of this plant is an excellent wood to use to make a friction fire because the wood of this yucca has one of the lowest temperatures for catching a flame. And, should you also be getting a bit funky in the odor department, the root of the plant can be shaved and used as a rudimentary soap to wash yourself, your clothing and hair.

“Kuuumooo”!

Here is a festive winter ground-hugging planting combination:

Santolina and plumosa fern.

And here is the latest addition to the Patch:

Ramie is one of the oldest vegetable fibers and has been used for thousands of years. It was used in mummy cloths in Egypt during the period 5000 – 3000 BC, and has been grown in China for many centuries. Ramie

Boehmeria nivea

is commonly known as China grass, white ramie, green ramie and rhea, it is one of the group referred to as the bast fiber crops. The ramie plant is a hardy perennial belonging to the Urticaceae or Nettle family (leaves are a give away), which can be harvested up to 6 times a year.

I have no experience with this plant in central Texas…do you?

Finally:

I never really know what to expect when I look in my rear view mirror, in fact most of the time I try to ignore what is going on back there in an attempt to keep my blood-pressure from elevating. But these distinguished “gentlemen” were sufficiently ridiculous, it warranted a reverse in-car shot.

He was to be appropriately known as professor “Mad-Pants” and she, for whatever reason, became professor “Toddy”.

“Carpe diem”

Professor Toddy taking a leisurely and reflective fall stroll through the campus grounds and some waning purple fountain grasses.

Stay Tuned for:

“Tiddalik”

All material © 2011 for eastsidepatch. Unauthorized
intergalactic reproduction strictly prohibited, and
punishable by late (and extremely unpleasant)
14th century planet Earth techniques.

ESPatch

“Tiddalik”

Podranea ricasoliana

Camponotus sp.

“Yule-Tidy all that up…Right?”

“The Incredible Bulk”

Boehmeria nivea

“Tiddalik”

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