“A Patch-Work Orange”

ESPatch Oct 30, 2009 14 comments

Ghost House

I DWELL in a lonely house I know
That vanished many a summer ago,
And left no trace but the cellar walls,
And a cellar in which the daylight falls,
And the purple-stemmed wild raspberries grow.

O’er ruined fences the grape-vines shield
The woods come back to the mowing field;
The orchard tree has grown one copse
Of new wood and old where the woodpecker chops;
The footpath down to the well is healed.

Image taken from jipol’s Flickr photostream under the creative commons attribution-non-commercial-no derivative 2.0 licence

I dwell with a strangely aching heart
In that vanished abode there far apart
On that disused and forgotten road
That has no dust-bath now for the toad.
Night comes; the black bats tumble and dart;

The whippoorwill is coming to shout
And hush and cluck and flutter about:
I hear him begin far enough away
Full many a time to say his say
Before he arrives to say it out.

It is under the small, dim, summer star.
I know not who these mute folk are
Who share the unlit place with me–
Those stones out under the low-limbed tree
Doubtless bear names that the mosses mar.

They are tireless folk, but slow and sad,
Though two, close-keeping, are lass and lad,–
With none among them that ever sings,
And yet, in view of how many things, As sweet companions as might be had.

poem by: Robert Frost

Whatever happens… Don’t fall asleep!

From Robert Frost to Robert Englund. This potato vine caught my attention when Freddie’s hand suddenly appeared behind it.

Eeek

Eeek!

I must have nodded-off picking up old blackened pecan nuts, it is an irritating habit of mine!

Halloween is upon us once more, and the ESP witches are in full-cry, swooping and circling around my post oak, cackling their ferocious words into the night. I observed them huddled around the grave of the Cactus Man, and they were mumbling something. I crept in closer to hear what they were saying. Hiding behind my Mexican lime tree, I heard them whisper the blood-curdling words “ressurectum Opuntium”, this got my undivided attention. After the witches had done their obligatory cackles and finger waggling they flew off into the night. I ran to the Cactus Man’s tombstone and with my flashlight, shined light on his grave. I peered in closely and reached in to straighten his tombstone, (it was the least I could do)…then, like a rather predictable horror movie, I noticed a slight indiscernible movement, a subtle movement of top-soil. I peered in closer… To my horror, a small wizened paddle started to inch it’s way through the granite soil, a paddle followed by…

…The rest of his emaciated body.

Eeek

Eeek!

What manner of curse could do this? The Cactus Man had been exhumed from his spiky grave, unfortunately he still had his old, disturbing grimace, he had returned from the dead! He was a zombie cactus.

I (like in all bad movies) predictably dropped my flashlight in panic, ran into my house and bolted shut all the doors and windows, then I remembered the hole in the house that the Chevy Tahoe had created…

https://www.eastsidepatch.com/2009/09/dude-wheres-my-car/

Was this hole big enough for a zombie cactus paddle to squeeze itself through?

I was convinced the Cactus Man had come back up from his granity-grave to reap his revenge on me with his OWN set of cactus knives, tiny files, and a general array of small gardening implements of torture.

The next morning I returned to the grave and found the Cactus Man and one of his cousins that was also a victim of my general genocide. It seems the curse was only a temporary resurrection, lucky for me. This was an innocent cacti family that died as a result of my mad experimental horticultural “carvings”. Something I will never attempt again.

Robert Ripley’s Believe it or Not

While all this drama played out, the nearby Botox lady was freaking out…screaming out for me to “Get ze shrunken coconut heads avay” from her, in her loud Austrian accent, trust me, you do not want to be in the local vicinity of her lips when she shouts like this. (Say it don’t spray it!)
I re-dug the grave and laid them to rest again, side-by-side, and gently positioned their intrinsic root structures under each of their cacti-chins, like fake beards.. I think they would have wanted it that way.

RIP old friend…ridiculous.

Moving forward…

While I was clambering around on top of one of my artemisia hills I made the fatal mistake of getting just a little too close to one of my large Pampas grasses. The grass reached out with a ghostly strand and (unbeknownst to me) encircled part of my arm. As I pulled my arm out of the artemisia the grass latched on. The result…

A rather poor, under exposed photograph of my arm laceration, or had I just fallen asleep again?

Whatever happens… Don’t fall asleep!

What Halloween post would be complete without the gargoyled face of a bat-faced cuphea, which as if on cue is blooming right now. Is he sticking his tongue out?

My Mexican bush sage is certainly pulling in the crowds at the moment…

along with motion…

and color.

While my fragrant mist flowers are looking hauntingly Gothic, attracting equally Gothic black and white bees.

Click on the Image to get to see this bee up-close.

There are about 242 species of Megachile bees or leaf cutting bees in North America. They belong to a larger group that includes also other leaf cutting as well as mason bees; these are all very good pollinators with very interesting habits.

These fuzzy bees are solitary creatures, meaning that each mother takes care of her own brood- a few form small colonies, but they are not truly social, they merely share the entrance to their nests. They nest in a variety of cavities in rotten wood or hollow stems. There are even some that nest underground.

Most bees carry pollen in baskets on their legs. However, Megachile is different; the underside of the female’s abdomen is particularly furry and is used for this purpose. They are so animated with their “Bugs Life” antenna, and mono-chromatic coloration. This is the first one I have ever caught in the patch. I hope I see more.

I have three mist flower plants, planted side by side and when they break into bloom, like they have this week, the insects go completely bananas…lots of moths, flies, hoverflies, bees and a whole bunch of these…

Ailanthus Webworm Moth

Atteva punctella

These buggy UT fans were all over this plant. The caterpillar of this chap eats the leaves of the dreaded Tree of Heaven (interestingly named) Ailanthus altissima, or Chinese sumac.

These moths keep their wings rolled up tightly against their bodies, unlike other moths with wings outspread. Its native habitat is South and Central America where they build communal webs in native trees.

One final visitor that I was really happy to see, arrived in large numbers to dine on these “fragrant” mist flowers…

brown “American Snout” butterflies,

Libytheana carinent

“The Clangers” … I grew up on this stuff!

And quite the fine snout it has indeed. These brown nosers have been migrating across Texas in biblical proportions recently attracting media attention.

Apparently the breeding conditions have been perfect for them this year. Snout butterflies have prominent elongated mouth-parts (labial palpi) which give the appearance of the petiole (stem) of a dead leaf. They like to hang up-side-down under leaves to further enhance the illusion.

I am happy a few of them made it into the Patch.

A few more observations this week…

Ice-plant, pine-cone cactus and a ripening satsuma. The Barbados cherry on the left is also forming a ton of berries at the moment.

As is this:

The aptly named “Jewels of Opar“… a chemistry model in the sky.

It is truly living up to it’s name. Great fall color.

I was not the only one to think so. Before I had a chance to run down (in cinematic slow-motion) the patch’s pathways shouting …”Noooooo”, a bunch of these attractive tiny berries had been cut down by a set of plastic secateurs.

The same secateurs that have caused numerous “No! They’re Mine” arguments and multiple finger-nipping escapades, that I have now come to hate the mere sight of their plastic, bright yellow presence… I have to learn more tolerance!

And finally…

Guess what has accumulated in here after all our recent rains? This papyrus is under the illusion that it really is growing on the banks of the Nile.

Light a pepper candle for the dead.

Happy Halloween from the ESP.

“See you later tonight in your garden dreams, I will show you how I do MY pruning”.

Eeek

Eeek!

Whatever happens… Don’t fall asleep!

This should help…

Brrrrrrr!

Stay Tuned for:

“CUT!”

All material © 2009 for eastsidepatch. Unauthorized
intergalactic reproduction strictly prohibited, and
punishable by late (and extremely unpleasant)
14th century planet Earth techniques.

“Panic in the Patch”

ESPatch Oct 22, 2009 26 comments

“Hit the button! Hit the button, now!”

Panic is setting in, in the patch. My eyes are being called upon to be extra critical… what needs to be changed? What would a set of fresh eyes see? More importantly what would a camera lens see? Is the lens forgiving? Perhaps there is a camera “weed” filter for the camera? Linda, tell me this exists?

The ESP is scheduled for a “Central Texas Gardener” film shoot shortly, and the Botox lady is very pleased about this indeed. She now shouts at me in her over-the-top Austrian accent every time I pass her…“Yoo-hoo, over zere, over zere, Are the cameraz zere to film me yet? Tell them to get my good side ya ESP, the side with my green hair, …Are the cameraz here ESP, Ya?”

She is diving me nuts!

Oh, have you seen her hair recently? The Botox Lady has turned into one icy, green-headed-mama, well at least on one side. She also has a new gained confidence based on the fact that she now has half a head of the finest green “ice-plant” hair! (She used to be the silent bald-type). She is obsessed with getting her five minutes of fame, I think she desperately wants to impress Bob over there at Draco Gardens, (I hear her mumbling his name occasionally when I am weeding). I can see her from my back window, straining her stone neck to try to see her reflection in the closest golden gazing ball, and she is constantly reminding me that the camera crew will certainly see all my horticultural negligence as soon as they arrive in the patch, UNLESS I clean up the area directly around her head.

Perhaps I will leave that little irritating patch of gravel in her eye and nose for just a little while longer.

The gathering of the Clan “Aphid” also seemed more agitated than usual, I caught them on this satsuma, discussing when to get their kilts out of the dry cleaners. I broke up their discussion rather quickly with a rather strong blast of my hose, which resulted in a lot of “colorful” language.

“Aye, but will all ye wee bugs re-unite and fight wuth me, William Wallace, on the battlefield, against the English”?

Oh shut your cake-hole, William.

Here they are, shortly before becoming high-speed, aquatic projectiles.

This little Satsuma tree is completely buckled over with the weight of the fruit it is wearing…I have not counted them but it is well over a hundred. This is really good as a few people in the patch can really trench their way through these fast. The fruit are really turning orange rapidly now, but are totally palatable for those individuals who just can’t wait.

I have the small branches propped up with anything that will work…chairs, stepladders, grandma Esther? What?

“Oh you think that is funny ESP”?

In an attempt to take some of the strain off the branches. I did not thin the tree earlier in the year, deciding to let nature run its course. The fruit that is touching seems fine, and all is ripening into what should be a bumper crop! And talking of bumper…

These potato vines are on the rampage! I planted these two plants, late spring this year. I always plant about five or six of these vines every year, mostly to hide parts of the patch I have yet to get to / figure out what to do, or areas that are just plain ugly.

They make great invisibility cloaks! These two plants are attempting to cover-up some pond hardware. I like this combination, and use it a lot in containers, for some fast, dynamic foliage color.

Some more foliage color comes from this Burgundy Canna-Lily that I have just shuffled over into its new home between a weeping bamboo, a large pampas and this palm grass (front). It took a bit of a beating in the move but will quickly recover, just in time to die back for the winter. The Canna will provide some well-needed tropical color to this predominately green area. It is satisfying to move something that immediately fills an aesthetic gap. The burgundy color works well with the steel gray of the pampas. Now, why did I not do this a few years ago?

Another new resident who has also moved into this area is this…

Thryallis, center. Nestled into a small pocket of shade, this should provide a small splash of color in here next year.

Another plant not lacking in the “tropical-look” arena is the mighty Century plant or maguey (Agave americana). This plants tribal markings makes it a favorite with the Naboo tribe and myself alike. If you are lucky enough to have a Westerly facing garden these plants take the sacrificial limelight at sunset. Needless to say, I have a “substantial” amount of these scattered perilously around the patch. Can you have too many?

The latest craze in the patch is “races around the pathways”, which invariably leads to “band-aids on the kneecaps” – granite hurts when you fall on it, like falling onto sandpaper…Oh yes, the ESP is so kid-friendly! Hey, it enhances coordination skills.

Ready…Set…

Go!

These tattoos are also all the rage.

Moving on to something you may remember from my last post…

Yes another hoverfly, this time in the depths of a Madame Ganna Walser, performing a precarious balancing act! I have to show one more shot as they are everywhere right now.

I caught this hover, hovering almost motionless around this lily. I must have been so annoying to this fly, do flies get annoyed? With my camera lens repeatedly blocking its path back to the lily interior.

This fly requires a panel beater, he has been in the wars apparently and dented his body armor. It sort of reminds me of my old pick-up truck right now, similar body color, (albeit less shine on my truck), especially after the “Dude, Where’s my Car” incident, unfortunately my trusty old granite-hauler has been declared “totaled”, but…

I will rebuild her…better than she was before, better, stronger, faster!

One final insect…or is it an antelope?

I keep this gazelle in a matchbox and take her out of my pocket in business meetings occasionally to feed her a carrot or two. It always gets a few strange looks, but I don’t care.

Moving more sanely on…

This pin-stripped pink trumpet vine/desert trumpet vine

Podranea ricasoliana

This vine always puts on it’s finest suit this time of year. The vine is popular in South African gardens where it is known as jacaranda. Many South African botanists suspect that this climber may not be indigenous to southern Africa and that it was introduced here by slave traders. All the sites where both Podranea ricasoliana and Podranea brycei are found have ancient connections with slave traders, who frequented the eastern coast of Africa long before the 1600’s. It has become such a widely grown garden plant in all the warmer parts of the world that it may prove difficult to find its real origin.

Podranea ricasoliana can be propagated by means of layering, or by removing side branches that have rooted by themselves. To encourage Podranea to root by layering, take a low growing stem, lay it along the ground without breaking it off the mother plant, bend the tip to a vertical position, stake it in place and bury or cover the part that is touching the ground with soil. My plant actually did this naturally, without any human intervention. These two vines in close proximity have created a monster!

My Amaranth has got so large so fast, I am staking quite a few of them to stop them falling over.

Another purple that pops up sporadically are the morning glories.

Finally, a little more hardscaping…

This area has been looking a bit ratty for some time, there was a completely dead dwarf miscanthus in the middle that I removed, and the one on the right of the picture was also not looking too brilliant, with its half torched side. While I was getting dirty in this little area, I had the idea to have another access point to the main pond. I ripped out a bunch of inland sea oats and the remaining half-baked miscanthus, then moved the potted canna ( the one that I featured earlier). Finally I transplanted the little Mexican feather grasses to make way for a new short granite pathway.

Here is the final, more orderly result. It is really nice to have another angle to view the pond from.

And to finish…

Gregg’s mistflower Oops Mist flower Eupatorium havanense (thanks for the correction Bob) and an ornamental pepper. Candles and fireworks!

One of the first Mist flowers opened up only today.

Stay Tuned for:

“A “Patch” Work Orange”

All material © 2009 for eastsidepatch. Unauthorized
intergalactic reproduction strictly prohibited, and
punishable by late (and extremely unpleasant)
14th century planet Earth techniques.