East Side Patch

Pick Axel Rose

ESPatch Aug 17, 2008 0 comments

“Welcome to the jungle baby”

“Oh My Squirrel Gods, he has got his pick axe out of the shed, tell me he isn’t looking for buried treasure again”

I continued hacking my way on top of my compacted lunar surface today. I thought I would take full advantage of the slight reprieve in temperature we are currently having. I was also finding all manner of buried treasure, bottles, glass shards, springs? and what appears to be an old 50’s chevy truck, I wasn’t stopping. I felt I was on the brink of a major archaeological discovery when my pick axe shuddered to a rib braking stop. This was it! perhaps some loot from an old western bank heist? perhaps a buried Wells Fargo safe?, it did sound and feel metallic after all.

As soon as my body stopped reverberating
from the impact, I investigated further…

I went down on my knees and with my newly
purchased archaeological brushes from Breed & Co,
I began my excavation of the artifact.

14 Hours of meticulous brushing later, and I had it, my adrenalin was flowing. The top 1/3rd of it looked like some form of ancient bronze tool. I peered in even closer, I could smell the dirt of the ancients, (mmm, perhaps I should rephrase that one). With gentle leverage, my find emerged into the daylight…it was, it was…….well, it was an old, rusty car jack – presumably the one used on the buried Chevy.

Still, it was a treasure of sorts to me and will
take pride of place somewhere in my yard.
Look at this thing!

One of the previous owners of my house I found out, had “fallen off the utilities map” and subsequently began burying all her trash around the property. I have trash soil! I really do, (and don’t say it fits with my Ratatouille chewed inflatable pool!)
I contemplated if lavender had ever been grown on landfill. I guess I will soon find out.

Staying on the subject ot trash – My dead agave is a) taking on an interesting rotting aesthetic of it’s own and b) now incredibly annoying as I still need to straddle it to cross one of my main pathways (at least there are no spikes on it as yet) yup, that would be really dangerous considering it’s current height. Look at this mangled scene, it reminds me of:

The plants around the agave are also looking really bad, I can’t decide if it is the drought or if the decaying beanstalk is effecting them in some underground way. I still have a rather unhealthy obsession to plant another fifty pups…it is the least I can do for a dying old friend, no matter how irritating.

“George, do you think he is ever going to chop the Agave down … George!

“Calm down Mildred, I am more concerned by the fact that we are being followed by a lily!

Staying next to the pond for a second, this lily is also starting a new family, in the middle of one of the pads. I would imagine this breaks away from the pad at some point to root? I have witnessed little “groupings” floating around, and may explain why my pond is choked with lillies. I thin them out every other week.

Another lily dweller I caught, I assume it is a dragonfly nymph?

This rock has been in its current location for ever, I noticed it glowing after the rains today. It has been a day of finding treasure.
It looked amazing and reminded me of:

The Nazca lines in Peru.
The Nazca lines are series of geoglyphs located in the Nazca Desert

“psst! we didn’t create those lines by the way. Now this we did create, but those, definately not.”

Moving on to the front of the property – this bed has been such a trouper over the last three months. I have watered it perhaps 3-4 times and it still looks healthy. You just can’t beat rosemary, succulents, and palms for staying power.

Potato vine going berserk in my golden
bamboo container, I really need to paint my house.
What am I talking about, this was a planned distressed
look to contrast the vibrant vine…not!

Foreground, Mexican Bush Sage, then weeping
bamboo, then golden bamboo, all hanging in there well
considering this years harsh conditions.

Front deck covered in red passion vine.

Mexican Petunia, not only does it endure high
heat and humidity, but it is also a performer in
drought-like conditions. Pride of barbados above it
and purple heart to the lower right.

Stay Tuned for:
“Fish & Chips”

"Bugged Out"

ESPatch Aug 11, 2008 0 comments

After walking back from dumping a bucket of water on one of my bamboos,
I shot a quick glance onto one of my Irises and saw this hugging horror scene.
I ran inside to retrieve my camera (which I usually always have on me) and cautiously re-approached the monster…
could it be a scorpion? surely not! in East austin?
I positioned my camera to full macro mode, put on my safari outfit, loaded my
blunderbuss with buckshot and feeling safer, investigated further.

Moving around to the side of the beast I could now hear its laboured
breathing intermingling with a blood curdling series of grunts and rattles.
I released the safety latch, and scoured the nearby terrain for a large
prodding stick. This specimen was one I intended to cage and bring back into
civilization alive, perhaps for a travelling side-show?

“I can understand why people would pay good money to see an
attractive, handsome giant ape such as myself in a side-show, but that alien
buggy thing?… Please”. (snort)
“Anyone know a good dentist”?

I turned my camera up side down and did a blind shot of the specimen. I looked at the shot in preview mode and immediately recoiled backwards into my asparagus ferns. I brushed myself down and glanced around nervously to see if someone had seen me.

The wizened wings, the lobster claws – it looked like an inch long giant flea!

At this point I arbitrarily recounted a story my father in law told me some time back, about a very pleasant conversation he had with a “Lobsterboy” at the State Fair in Dallas.
I digress.

“Lobster Boy” Fred Wilson was born
in Somerville, Massachussetts in
1866.

With the precision of a really bad surgeon I scrambled for my prodding stick and proceeded to start prodding the abomination, I prodded some more only to find that the creature that once inhabited this creature was gone!

Okay, okay so it is just the shell of an emerged cicada, but if it was 5ft long it would be terrifying! I need to stop watching so much sci-fi!

I caught this one in a local park. It actually flew around us, went way up in the air then dive bombed my wife’s foot…thwack, almost sending her into labor! This caused a chain reaction of high pitched sreaming, first from my wife, then from my 3 year old, who had no real idea why she was even screaming. I thought about joining in, but decided against it. Anyway I think this stunned the creature, allowing me to get this shot. The wing structure is amazing. (click then click again for a close-up)

And now for something completely different:

Mmmmm what is this now, blue paint that happens
to match my socks – what could this be? Queer eye
for the yard guy?

The panel that I was using to visualize my “Doorway to Nowhere” I decided
needed a sprucing, after all I anticipate a rather long time delay
to find an antique door that a) I like, and b) that I can afford. I will be living with this fence for some time, so I decided that it will be Azure blue in the interim, to remind me of the cooling trade winds of the Carribean. Ahhh!
I gave it a good sanding, cut off the rotten edge down one side, then gave it 4 coats of satin blue paint. I feel better already.

For once the 200 degree weather worked in my favor – by the time I had finished one coat, it was already dry at the other end!

Here it is hoisted into position, I went with the blue to contrast the weeping bamboo, and Palm Grass

…and all of this was going on to the repeated backdrop of:
“Daddy, I have caught a huge, huge, huge wiggly shark” (repeat 20 times)
Each time I had to put down my paintbrush to “take it off the hook”!!!

When I had finished my impromptu painting, I attacked the future home of my lavender bed with a pick axe. If lavender likes poor soil like the books say, it should thrive in here! The soil here better resembles the lunar surface (with less nutrients), it is also compacted and generally as much use as an ashtray on a motorcycle.

After discovering this I have now decided to remove the top few inches of “dirt” and cart it to my front yard to create some mounds before I cover it in decomposed granite and plant it up . . . ah the joy! I intend to do some serious drainage work in here, yes my pick axe and I are to be reaquainted once more. (I have not touched my pick axe since I attacked my water feature with it, quite some time ago. (see earlier post: http://east-side-patch.livejournal.com/2357.html))
Or was that my sledge hammer? or both?

Other Michael Phelps right now:

Look at how much these bad boys have grown! amazing.