“My Tomatoes are Manically Depressed”

ESPatch May 14, 2008 0 comments

I am convinced that I have the most depressed and unhealthy tomatoes in Austin, Texas right now , look at them, I can’t!

Potted and surrounded by straw to moderate container temperatures, I had high hopes this year! . . Whoops!

I hear them groaning as I inch past them on my way down the garden to feed my fish, and then they splutter and cough on my way back. I do not like to look at them, but their grotesque form somehow beckons me to sneak a sideways peek – arrgh – they should be in a side-show at the state fair….or, if they had tiny legs, climbing up the bell tower of Notredame. In all fairness it is me who “created” these edible monstrosities. I now feel obliged to occasionally apply topical seaweed for medicinal purposes, to try to ease their insufferable pain.

It doesn’t seem to be helping.

What I really want to do is rip them from their pots and throw their own mealy fruit back at them, whilst laughing insanely – but that would be cruel. No, they will be out there moaning and sniffing until the very last fruit ripens and is picked by tiny hands, then it will be straight into the trash with them all.

I will try again next year, I always do.

This is how healthy they looked when they were growing only a few weeks earlier:

Everything was just fine for a while – good fruit set – healthy foliage, this was going to be my year.

I think the combination of early blight, poor selection, aliens and erratic moisture conditions formed the basis for this years hideous display. Next year I plan to spread the risk and purchase a whole variety of different cultivators to see which ones do best . . . suggestions welcome!

Growing well right now:

Palm Grass [Curculigo capitulata]

This Palm Grass is 3 to 4ft tall, leaves are six inches wide with parallel groves running the entire length of the leaf. The leaves of this grass are often used in flower arrangements. I cut off most of the seed heads when they form late Summer as this plant has an amazing propensity to self seed if this practice is not instigated.

Fantastic tropical form, mine get to 6ft in diameter by the end of the summer.

I would plant more if I had the space, this one is 3yrs old.

Swallowtail caterpillars on a line of fennel I always plant just for their own personal, annual banquet.

Swallowtail caterpillars eat plants in the Umbellifer family. This includes parsley, dill, fennel, even carrots (the green tops). Swallowtails have a ‘scent horn’ that sticks out of their head when disturbed, something I have always wanted myself after a good night out. The chrysalis will be either green or brown, depending on the conditions where it pupates. Big fat caterpillars, straight out of a story book, can you have too many?

Stay Tuned for:

“My Compost Pile Burped At Me”

All material © 2008 for eastsidepatch. Unauthorized
intergalactic reproduction strictly prohibited, and
punishable by late (and extremely unpleasant)
14th century planet Earth techniques.

“There is a Monkey in my Giant Timber!”

ESPatch May 6, 2008 0 comments

Giant Timber Bamboo (4 years old)

I have 5 giant timbers, all at different ages. The oldest is now 5 years old and a monster, it must be 40 feet tall with 3-4 inch diameter culms. I usually trim up the lower branches for a more architectural look and cut down the smaller thinner culms.

New culms shoot up toward the end of the Summer at an alarming rate, then develop leaves the following season.

1st year – culm growth 2nd year – leafs grow out of the culms

As a clumper giant timber bamboo is a trouper, it seems to withstand cold-snaps, doesn’t seem to care if its base is in shade. In fact I have a theory that they will grow larger if they can sense that sunlight is available above a tree canopy. I have mine growing through 2 two pecans and a post oak. It adds great elevation as a perimeter backdrop and obviously offers a really tropical aesthetic.

The only problem is the monkeys, this little monkey seems to have taken up permanent residency on the lower canopy of my newly founded ‘privacy grove’ . . . (My goal is to visually screen the house in the background).

Screams a lot too – I think it may be a Howler Monkey! Amazing dexterity though – makes it to the top branches in seconds!

A word of warning about Giant Timber Bamboo – it is very expensive (for a few initial nursery ‘sad-sticks’), and it takes quite a while to become established. As for dividing an existing clump, I did it once and severely regretted the decision. I thought I would save a few dollars, after all, how difficult could it be to divide a clump of this stuff ?

As it turns out, very difficult indeed!

I destroyed, and I mean destroyed, two shovels, one pick axe and all that is considered socially acceptable within the confines of the English language. I tried axes, saws, tiny nail files, everything! What I really needed was a chainsaw.

I finally managed to separate three or four culms from the main plant and transported the clump via my wheelbarrow to its new home. I planted it and it did grow successfully, a lot faster incidentally then any I have ever purchased at a nursery – but never again!

Other notables right now . . .

Purple Coneflower Echinacea purpurea (Asteraceae).

Buddleia: Butterfly Bush

Buddleia is at home in disturbed areas of ground such as road cuts or new development sites. Historically its flowers have softened wartime London’s bombed areas and the slag heaps of Welsh mining towns.

First figs developing on the tree and the first flowers on the Hollyhock,

. . . and the first ripened fruit on my sad, blight-ridden tomato plants

Stay Tuned for:

“My Tomatoes are Manically Depressed”

All material © 2009 for eastsidepatch. Unauthorized
intergalactic reproduction strictly prohibited, and
punishable by late (and extremely unpleasant)
14th century planet Earth techniques.

East Side Patch

“My Tomatoes are Manically Depressed”

“My Compost Pile Burped At Me”

“There is a Monkey in my Giant Timber!”

“My Tomatoes are Manically Depressed”

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