Oh Yes,

another

drum-roll-please

second place for the ‘most aesthetically unpleasing plant after a freeze award’

has just been awarded to this…

Frost

…Agave americana.

toptenz-clapping-audience

It was once a mythical creature that enveloped and sank many a boat crossing my stock tank with sharp writhing arms,

healthy

and now it has been reduced to beef jerky. Oh, how the mighty fall.

One plant that turns color and strangely lives up to its name after a few hard freezes is the cardboard palm (it is actually a cycad).

Zamia furfuracea

 

healthy

What were once olive green leaves that feel like cardboard to the touch, (hence the name Cardboard Palm),

Frost_Damage

turn to a rusty orange-brown aged-mahogany after a freeze. I have had these two cycads for many years now, both usually return from the ground with fresh green growth in the spring.  Considering this is a native to the southeastern Veracruz state in eastern Mexico this plant has done quite well for me under the canopy of my post oak.

Note: This plant is poisonous to animals and humans – no treatment for the poisoning is currently known.

DSC02874

Got that?

Feb

Enough of the brown and wizened – we have cone flowers on the rise, not to mention larkspur and bluebonnets, and then there is the early blooming

Texas scarlet flowering quince:

blooms

Wingardium_leviosa copy

Chaenomeles speciosa


 

Feb

The flowers of this small shrub emerge before the foliage develops, a very early and prolific bloomer.

Moving Along:

This is what happens to an iPhone when it gracefully pirouettes through the air and performs a spectacular landing on top of a pointed piece of decomposed granite.

DSC04981

It didn’t stand a chance.

I decided to channel my annoyance on my one remaining pampas grass. It has been long in the tooth for a few years now after all.

protection

I went into the house, put on my dedicated pampas removal outfit (complete with my new magazine and duct tape forearm protectors, an idea I adapted from):

World-War-Z-06

The thinking here being, if these could stop the gnashing teeth of

images

 it should provide adequate protection from a pampas.

removal

The passage of time has been long enough for me to forget just how stubborn these large grasses are to get out of the ground (I started with three) and this one was a monster. I believe it had rooted in two additional areas from the main grass. It was a tri-pampas and it took me all of 30 minutes hacking at it to get it to topple.

It would have been less but every couple of minutes I had to perform my customary

bugs

to escape the scurrying unmentionables that boiled out of its rotten interior.

the-screaming-skull-woman1 removal

Yes…in there.

At least there wasn’t a snake.

I do like pampas, especially the pink variety and they look great for a number of years, but they do have a garden shelf-life unless work is put into pruning them back every year when they mature. I have heard of people burning them back to the ground in the winter months – I would imagine this helps maintain the original form of the plant, but for fear of igniting my neighborhood and obtaining a Darwin award this is really not practical in the Patch.

blooming

Finally:

I recently returned to a landscape I completed.

Design

Here is the water feature that was installed with baby roses as a backdrop:

Installation

About a year later,

fountain

and the boulder has taken on some great coloration.

And why the post title you may ask?

Nothing more I am afraid.

 

Stay Tuned for:

The Doll House

 

Creepy-Doll

All material © 2014 for eastsidepatch. Unauthorized
intergalactic reproduction strictly prohibited, and
punishable by late (and extremely unpleasant)
14th century planet Earth techniques.

 

“Why is the Rum Gone?”

DSC04705

Eighty degrees one day,

cookies

selling girl scout cookies in teeshirts…

freeze

…then ice, how the temperatures can swing in Texas.

freeze

There was just enough accumulation on this lawn chair to eek out a couple of lame snowballs for an equally lame snowball fight.

ice

Which was probably a good thing.

41LUo6gh80L

This is what we needed!

stock-tank

Stock tanks froze over once again encapsulating lacewings that had drowned on the surface.

popsicle

No, it is not a Popsicle, Bear.

frozen

Loquats also had a cold casing,

frozen_foliage

and I think I can safely say my variegated gingers have seen better days,

frozen

much better days.

Out of all the frost bitten plants in my garden the first prize for ‘most aesthetically unpleasing plant after a freeze’

drum-roll

has to go to

mess

yes…the purple heart.

audience_applause

“I just knew it was going to win Charles.”

“Yes Dear, it really is astonishingly aesthetically unpleasing .”

The_Purple_Heart

Not only is this plant a mess to look at, it will most certainly attempt to cover you in purple juice during clean up as an annoying side activity.

Lets take one more look:

mess

The interwoven dead leaves that this soggy plant apparently ‘collects’ over time completes the award winning industrial spillage look.

Aloe also suffers in the cold,

frozen

the softened pulp on the inside of this frozen aloe arm felt very odd and kept him entertained for all of …30 seconds.

This Mexican lime tree kept me busy for a little longer as I beat it repeatedly with a blunt instrument to remove the dead foliage. This activity had the added benefit of making me feel much better about the upcoming purple heart clean up.

dead_foliage no_foliage Sherlock

“This lime tree was repeatedly beaten around its crown and lower limbs with a blunt object Watson, isn’t it obvious? The exfoliation, the…blah, blah…purple juice on the perpetrators gardening gloves…blah, blah, blah.”

Moving Along:

index

This cactus causes me to do a Sheldon laugh when I walk past it in my Hell-strip.

DSC04764

It has a very distinctive Jack Sparrow swagger to it, and recently, I noticed, its first tattoo.

79352359-johnny-depps

And on that note…

 

Stay Tuned for:

Taking the Hobbits to Isengarden

 

The_Hobbits_of_Hobbiton

All material © 2014 for eastsidepatch. Unauthorized
intergalactic reproduction strictly prohibited, and
punishable by late (and extremely unpleasant)
14th century planet Earth techniques.

 

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